Saturday, May 12, 2018

In which the pond returns, and what better way to celebrate than by downing a stiff Polonial prattle or two ...


Jawohl, mein Führer, the pond can walk again, and returns to follow your orders through thick and thin …

What's that, the reptiles and the ABC is the first order of the day, and the finest way to start a meditative weekend, and our man Polonius is at it again?

Why certainly, and while the pond's away, oh how the reptiles in the social media did play …


Soft, on yonder hill, is that prattling Polonius at it again? Will his aberrant, bizarre disorder, known only to specialists as abcurstitis, be on view again?


What indeed is the point of anything? What is the point of prattling Polonius and his eternal compulsive fascination and revulsion with the ABC, a form of morbid fixation which must surely be considered a clinical condition by now?

Please allow the pond to suggest a warm-up by jumping in the pond time machine and heading back to The Age, 27th September 1994. 

Yes children, there was a time when Melbourne was blessed by the infinite wisdom of a special Sydney visitor, though now the pagans live in a condition of savage barbarity and philistinism which earns them the eternal wrath of a Melbourne winter! (Click on is advised for anyone wanting to waste their time).


Oh sweet memories, how Polonius and his prattle has guided the ABC towards the light, and how wretched are the rascals who refuse to accept his infinite wisdom and guidance …

And now back in the time machine for today's offering …


Yes, you wretches, fawn and abase yourselves to your masters, stay supine …be like Polonius, crawling on his tummy and all will be well. Remember the pussycat motto and purr!

It's the Polonial way … and in the interim, the pond has missed out on many Pope and Rowe cartoons … oh the humanity …


Hmm, more Pope here, and it would be too much to ask the provider of papal insights to provide a caricature of Polonius, because our inner city 'leet man is simply beyond caricature …

Quick, back in to the time machine for the dire time of Shier, this time with our man scribbling furiously on 14th November 2000…


And now quickly, step forward, back to the present for a final gobbet of eternal vigilance and watchfulness, which almost borders on stalking, such is the omnipresent nature of the enduring fixation …


Ah Mitch Fifield, the noble Richard Alston of our time, and valiant Polonius eternally tilting at the ABC windmill, a Don Quixote able to match Cervantes any time …

Of course Polonius himself is notable for his tremendous reporting on the crimes committed in the Catholic church over the years, and his condemnation of the church week in, week out, such that the pond sometimes hesitates to read Polonius because of the inane repetition involved …

But speaking of ghosts from the past, the most extraordinary visitor of all was celebrated by David Rowe while the pond was away, and for some strange reason, his cartoon - more Rowe here - reminded the pond of Polonius, or at least of lost times and almost forgotten warfare …




5 comments:

  1. Polonius really has a thing about Richard Downing, doesn't he, like a bad smell hanging around in his otherwise pristine life.

    But then, maybe it's understandable given that Downing has been credited with being " one of the founders of the welfare state in Australia". A tribute sure to raise the impotent ire of a prime Prattler. Not to mention Downing's close friendship with Dorian Le Gallienne
    [ see: http://adb.anu.edu.au/biography/downing-richard-ivan-dick-10045 ]

    ReplyDelete
  2. Tom Ballard didn't call Kevin Bailey a cunt, he just reported that somebody else had called him a cunt. Reporting someone calling someone a cunt is not the same as calling them a cunt. Even if they are a cunt.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Umm, given that John Winston wasn't actually stating that there were any 'children overboard' because he was just repeating what somebody had told him, you'd reckon that Right Wingnuts would accept and support that explanation instead of indulging in special pleading, wouldn't you.

      Delete
  3. Poor Polonius, most of us have to wait until we fall of this mortal coil before being hurled into eternal hellfire.
    Not so Dear Polonius, on our behalf he willingly spends every moment of every day, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week without sleep listening to and watching simultaneously every ABC radio and TV station, a living hell on earth for our man.
    Or is his constant listening to and watching of everything he loathes hiding a more sinister secret, Polonius is the world's darkest sado/masochist, enduring the constant pain and enjoying inflicting the pain of his presence on the rest of us as one ongoing life long orgasm.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Isn't it rather like what we do, Sally, when we trudge through the reptiles' discharge, as faithfully reported by Dorothy?

      Delete

Comments older than two days are moderated and there will be a delay in publishing them.