Thursday, May 17, 2018

In which the pond is reluctantly herded towards Dame Groan, when heading to the light might have been wiser ...



For lunch the pond likes a light salad, perhaps accompanied by a reptile fillet done in a "get a life salt and pepper calamari" style, left to marinate to produce the essence of intertube 24 hour old staleness …

Ah, poor reptiles, always being mocked by the fiendish leftist social media twitterati, but that meant the pond was still in search of its lunch, and the reptiles kept pushing Dame Groan out into the world …

 

Dear sweet long absent lord, cookery was still the theme …and the magic put mentioned in vain again.

The pond, flailing about like a reptile about to be stewed, thought about diving back into the archives, and retrieving memorable hits …

It will be remembered by reptile lovers that they fear EVs and electricity and batteries and all that new-fangled stuff, and remain deeply devoted to coal, and so recently produced this astonishing insight …



Remarkable. Who could imagine that shifting away from oil might have an effect on the sector, but surely the reptiles would be heartened by the heightened demand for good clean brown Victorian coal?


Dear sweet long absent Deloitte, what's this talk of soaking up excess solar? What is this talk of energy source agnosticism? 

Why didn't Ben mention the urgent need for coal-fired power stations? Are the reptiles slipping?

It was a mystery as deep as transubstantiation, but the pond knew it couldn't afford to ponder on it, and perforce would have to move on to Dame Groan, and wouldn't you know it, the Dame was still deeply unhappy about everything, and extremely moved by the plight of the poor …



The pond pondered for a a moment, and wondered if Dame Groan - or the reptiles - realised what she'd written …

"Wealthy retirees will have no problem avoiding Labor's policy by rearranging their portfolios …"

For weeks the pond had been getting lessons about learning to love the wealthy, and about being appalled by their unnatural suffering.

Hadn't our Gracie recently featured in the pond scribbling furiously "Therefore, it is about time we collectively got over our hatred of the wealthy, and instead cultivated an attitude of admiration and healthy respect."

Yet here was Dame Groan suggesting that the idle rich were nothing more than tax avoiders, bludgers, minimisers, rascals and and wretches, indolently rearranging their portfolios while lunching on salt and pepper reptile at the club…

How could the pond cultivate an attitude of admiration and healthy respect for these shameless evaders?

It was with a solemn heart that the pond pressed on, its lunch irretrievably soured ...


Never mind, we're all doomed, and it's time to leave the very grumpy Dame Groan and turn to other pressing issues, and as the pond began with an internet meltdown, why not continue that way …


And once that's done, the Donald and chums just keep on giving …






2 comments:

  1. Judie Groan: "The days of Hawke and Keating are well and truly over ...".

    What a pity. I was just contemplating that very difficult challenge: 'who, apart from the Onion Muncher, could you nominate as the most destructive politician of his generation' when the answer just came to me in a flash: Hawke and Keating, together and separately, of course. Hawke and Keating in their ignorant attempt to sell every worthwhile Australian thing overseas except for the slice that's kept here for rewarding local "entrepreneurs".

    And I'd add Jeff Kennett as first reserve in the competition, too.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I did comment on Sloane earlier in the week after her appearance Q&A.She keeps bobbing up and out of tune though trying to discredit anything Labor.
    She will not challenge Bowen on his policy program but she will try and trivialise it with sarcasm and denigration.

    ReplyDelete

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