An artist's impression of the pond on learning that the reptiles had developed a massive sulk, and stormed off to the back of the herpetarium, and locked themselves in ...
Of course all is not lost if the reptiles want to play with themselves.
Let them play with themselves as much as they like, the pond proposes ... it's a solitary vice, inclined to produce hair on the palms, but it keeps them happy ... and a little forlorn and pale and pimpled, as they rant about dinkum coal, oi, oi, oi, and the marvels of the Donald, and the wickedness of the ABC and the Fairfaxians, and so on and so forth ...
The pond might just head off to the ABC for parochial pleasures of the Gladys kind ... as she maintains her determination to piss squillions against the wall rebuilding stadia ...
Good old Gladys, the reptiles might be sulking, but she's always ready to step with comedy stylings that could keep the Harold Park comedy club going for years to come ...
But the pond will admit that however hard she tries, Gladys is no bromancer ... his love of the Donald is a guaranteed laugh machine, better than a flatulence cushion, and done with as much subtlety, nuance and finesse ...
There's nothing like talk of a barking mad spitting fest to set the tone for astute analysis ...
Okay, never mind the Europeans or the world, we're all right Jack, so just shut up and watch the footy with the bromancer.
By golly, the moment the pond has toked a bromancer hit, it always feels a cartoon coming on ...
Oh the pond will miss him, no doubt about it, and he can still spin on a dime if he needs to ...
And then there's the love of dinkum clean Oz coal, oi, oi, oi ... how the pond will miss the infinite variations, many more than Beethoven managed with Diabelli ...
What a genius and he was rewarded with the Lobbecke for the day ...
And it's not just dinkum clean Oz coal, oi, oi, oi, it's the ABC bashing ...yes they're still going on about Alberici, just like they're still going on about Bill Leak, and in a decade's time, Polonius will still be remembering it all ...
Oh sheesh, mother of mercy, is this the end of the pond and prattling Polonius?
Hang on a tic, he's so vain, he puts his Pooch Watch up on his site almost same day and date ... sure it's bilious and offensive in the extreme, but these are desperate days ...
But the pond will miss all the business advice available from the IPA, as the reptiles take dictation and record everything the IPA says ...
Mmm, perhaps just go to the IPA site, and cut out the middle reptile?
Meanwhile, as the reptiles run stories bashing the unions, and the editorialist rages about the union, the unions chose to help the reptiles survive by giving them advertising ...
Sorry, not the pond.
It might be cutting off the pond's nose to spite its face, but the pond will never spend a cent on a Murdochian publication.
It would rather spin a long tale about going to trial ...
...or enjoy a cartoon ...
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