Sunday, January 14, 2018

In which the pond keeps to the left to avoid an unpleasant Akker Dakker duty ...


As the pond faces a hideous challenge this meditative Sunday, the first thought was to find a distraction, and Newtown certainly offers plenty of them ...

From hipsters stroking beards while contemplating phone to glad-wrapped fresh tats on the ankle to hippies who've strolled back in after modelling for a Melanie LP cover ... you know who you are ...


... to ostentatious greyhounds on parade to furious bike riders riding furiously and recklessly, Newtown has the lot ...

Now don't get the pond wrong. The attitude of Sydney drivers to bike riders is shocking and appalling, but there's a hierarchy in the streets, from cars down to bikes down to pedestrians, and the pond frequently happens to be a pedestrian, and so cops a lot from the fast or the furious, who, to avoid the crazed cars on the road, head off to the footpath and expect to make it their own.

The pond can't count the number of times a stealth bike bomber has crept up on it from behind, jangled its bell, and after the pond has jumped into the air, expects the pond to step aside so that the grand progress might continue ... but ...


In essence, keep to the left and give way.

The pond just included the rest because the pond loves acts of parliament, and the NSW Road Rules of 2014 are a doozy ...a bit like that loon who decided to talk when it came to public schools of "inclosed lands" ...

If the posting here is to be trusted, "inclosed" fell out of fashion somewhere around 1820, but not in the NSW Education Department and its signage section ...

Oh and another thing ...


But which are the footpaths the Minister has so declared?

Who knows, but just be warned, we do things differently in New South Wales. We couldn't organise a tram service or a train service or a chook raffle, and we like to knock down perfectly serviceable stadia, but we do arcana with the best of them ...

And now, with a reminder to furious bike riders that they must furiously keep to the left and give way, or face a furious pond, it's time to get on with the painful duty of the day ...


Yep, with Miranda the Devine still lolling about in holyday hiding, the pond, like the Terrorists, is left with the residue, the scum at the edge of the bath tub ... which, in a manner of speaking, is a metaphor for Akker Dakker ...

Now it's worth remembering that the onion muncher ascended to the throne way back in September 2013, and since then we've had Malware, and now we're into 2018, and still Akker Dakker is blaming long-departed Chairman Rudd ...

How long can this blame game be kept up? Forever it seems ...


It doesn't work with the pond.

Malware now owns the NBN. Sure Conroy made a mess of it in his time, but Malware turned a mess into a disaster, and he owns it, just as four years is more than long enough to make a difference in relation to Closing the Gap, and if there's a problem, it no longer rests with the long departed chairman, working hard for the remainder bookstores still to be found in sunny Melbourne ...

You see, it still sticks in Akker Dakker's Bunterish craw that someone dared to say sorry to the pesky, difficult blacks. It's a fair bet if in some strange world Akker Dakker had been in parliament that day, he would have left by the side door with the other recalcitrants...

By the way, the pond must here acknowledge that it wasn't the first to draw that Bunter analogy ...


That's from a set of Crikey reminiscences about Akker Dakker here, unless it's paywall affected, and the pond will import a few refreshments from it, because the journey this day with Akker Dakker is tediously predictable ... as is to be expected from a bombastic Billy Bunter ...

   


But enough of rituals, it's on with the blame game ...


Now it just so happens that the Crikey piece mentioned above featured Richard Jones on Akker Dakker ...


Oh dear, an ad hominem attack, and yet wasn't it Akker Dakker himself who started off by mocking a teary Chairman and fetid sentimentality?

Before heading off - as a helpful way to sorting things out - to talk of apartheid by stealth by uppity educated black elites, because the last thing we need is an educated bunch of blacks, when they might be better off out on a reservation, except of course the reservations are expensive to run, and so an unholy and unnatural drain on the taxpayer ...


Well that Crikey piece happened to borrow the entirety of a 1991 Sunday Age profile of the Bunterish one by Caroline Wilson, and it can be seen that Akker Dakker had form as a head kicker ... or at least an ear-grabber ...


And now back to Akker Dakker giving the pesky, difficult blacks an ear-grab, or an earful ...


Of course this is all about building a sense of resentment and injustice and unfairness and persecution amongst whites, a long-favoured trick of Akker Dakker, and lately adopted by the Donald ...

For some strange, and perverse reason, the pond was reminded of assorted events with a literary editor the pond remembers fondly as Shirley the Destroyer ...


Never mind, Akker Dakker is always free to comment, and comment he did on those pesky, difficult blacks, always copping an unfair share ... because who wouldn't want to be a black in Australia today and live in the lap of taxpayer-funded luxury, the lucky bludgers ... frequently locked in prisons with a standard of luxury that makes Mar-a-lago look like a hovel ...


Well it wouldn't be fair to just leave it there. Let's see how it all began and who we might have to thank for this indulged, pampered child, with a tendency to bullying ...


They look for scapegoats?

Akker Dakker bemoaning the way Australians look for scapegoats? After that piece about the difficult, pesky blacks?

This from a man who even managed to scapegoat Pepa Pig ...

"Even the cartoon character Peppa Pig pushes a weird feminist line that would be closer to the hearts of Labor's Handbag Hit Squad than the preschool audience it is aimed at."

Now at last Sydney bike riders might see the reason why they should keep left, even if they refuse to give way to Akker Dakker as they should ...


As for Akker Dakker's thoughts, the pond freely admits to not paying much attention. 

Whatever the difficulties, as with the NBN, the pond is willing to bet a pound for a penny that neither the man who brought Australia the current iteration, nor Akker Dakker with his desire to grab the pesky blacks by the ear, nor the rest of the Murdochians, will have the first clue about how to make things better, except by taking money from the poor and giving it to the Murdochians ...

And that's a familiar enough world view, as explained by this New Yorker cartoon, with more here ...

Thought about a new app as the solution?

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