Monday, August 14, 2017

In which the pond has to supplement its diet of Oreos with a hearty supply of cartoons and irony tablets ...



The pond never gets tired of memes, and speaking of memes, when will the pond's celebration of the Oreo take off? 

Probably as soon as anyone else gives a toss about her referencing that ancient film with Julia Roberts and the infamous towels scene ...


What's even funnier than the towels is that the Oreo should lead with "betrays the memory of our fallen", because the first sign of desperation in a jingoistic ratbag is the playing of the patriot card and the faux tears ...


But before getting on to the Oreo of the day - there's always time to stop and lunch on a delicious Oreo - the pond would like to pause to play vocabulary Nazi, this time to Michael Pascoe busily (and convincingly) explaining in Fairfax why the "no" vote in the civil war has a good chance of getting up ...

And that is why the social conservative tail wagging the government dog pushed the idea, why the economic ministers, Scott Morrison and Mathias Cormann, are happy to blow $122 million on an inaccurate survey when a rolled-gold, best-of-breed, much-more-accurate, professional opinion poll could be had for 1/122th of the price.

Nope, rolled gold isn't best of breed.

It's cheap, half-baked low grade gold flung on to a cheap base for poor people's jewellery...

What we currently have, in this cheap-assed postal survey (no longer a plebiscite, or even a poll) is definitively rolled gold, of the kind that once could be found in P. G. Smith and Regans in Tamworth ... and back in 1920 they did furnishings too ...


The pond did appreciate Pascoe's attempt to lighten the mood:

Twitter satirist @TheKennyDivine has the plebiscite question to be: Is there any way that you would not object to SSM not being made legal? Yes/No" 
And we could take the opportunity to salvage something out of this colossal waste of money by adding a second question to settle another burning issue: "Should pineapple on pizza be made a criminal offence?"

But everyone knows the answer to that one - hang 'em high, hang 'em hard, and if they put beetroot on a burger hang the whole family - and besides many have been playing that game ...

1. Is white chocolate real chocolate or just confectionery? 
2. Does Coke No Sugar taste exactly the same as Coke Zero or completely different?

The pond has its own question a plebiscite might help sort out:

1. Is the Oreo a crunchy snack of mindless flour, sugar, corn syrup and fats, or is it as nutty as a fruit cake, or can it be both?


Oh there's a lot of weird shit out there on the full to overflowing intertubes, but perhaps the google logarithm can help explain why the pond is a little jaded about its Oreo treat this day ...




Yes, a lot of the reptiles have been banging on about the same thing for quite some time, which is why the pond could easily be distracted by a cartoon ...


The Oreo didn't seem that enthusiastic about it either ... because while she piled on the usual hysteria, she did it with uncustomary brevity ...




The pond could spend all day unpacking the nonsense embedded in this particular Oreo biscuit, full of the usual paranoid ranting ...

But what's interesting to the pond is the way that the reptiles have held off doing the same to SBS for using RT as filler fodder ... 

When it comes to its English-language version Al Jazeera studiously attempts some kind of balance, which is why Peter Greste could be hailed as a dinkum journalist when he returned to Australia, though he'd gone very cold on Al Jazeera ...

And in the regional scheme of things, the country itself is no better or worse than the fundamentalist Wahhabists that rule Saudi Arabia ...and with whom the Donald did so much bowing and scraping and kowtowing ...

The same can't be said for RT, which is naked in its propaganda and its desire to fiddle with the news and promote the interests of Vlad the Impaler ... and yet, like the Donald conspicuously failing to mention the terrorism of white supremacists and neo-Nazis, the reptiles are strangely quiet about the Russian connection...



And yet the pond doesn't much mind that SBS runs RT. 

It's what desperate publicly financed broadcasters do when short of change and needing to fill up the airways ... and for any viewer it's a matter of buyer beware, as it should be for any media offering ...

The pond frequently listens to the BBC World Service, and while realising its full of Pommy propaganda about how balanced and fair the Poms are (try telling that to old school Irish), it's a bad thing that it's no longer going to turn up in Hong Kong, and instead the hapless Hong Kongers will cop the heavily censored and deeply biased news from Beijing ...

SBS also runs news from CCTV, though with much being in Mandarin no one much minds, and that in English of high comedic value.

And of course Foxtel runs a huge amount of distorted, lying propaganda from Fox News, which has done much to plunge the United States into its current crisis ...


But the reptiles need a distraction, and getting agitated about Qatar is a splendid one, all the more so as it removes the need to take any serious look at Saudi Arabia, Russia, the Donald and the rest of the whole damned thing ...




Fox News? What are we to call it? The whole pack of mendacious Murdochians? What are we to call them?

The Oreo? Well we know she's a biscuit, with the virtues of rolled gold chocolate and Xmas pudding all in the one crunchy package ...

Of course you won't be reading, courtesy the Oreo biscuit, about the deep corruption revolving around Netanyahu (google 'Netanyahu corruption Haaretz' and start reading) or any of the other deep corruption surrounding Saudi Arabia in the world of the Oreo or the rest of the reptiles ...


This helps explain why the Oreo was so short this day, and why the pond had to resort to a cartoon-led recovery ...

And luckily it wasn't just the Donald that was getting attention ...





Pace Pascoe, and his concern for the deeply rooted pineapple conspiracy, which has led to so much Queensland propaganda spreading south, there was also handy advice on the best kind of stamp to use in the upcoming rolled-gold survey ...


1 comment:

  1. " if they put beetroot on a burger hang the whole family"

    Oh noes, DP, an Aussie burger just isn't an Aussie burger without canned beetroot. Nobody pays any attention to an American chef such as David Wang:
    "You know who fucks up burgers more than anyone else in the world? Australians. Australia has no idea what a burger is. They put a fried egg on their burger. They put canned beetroot on it, like a wedge of it. I am not joking you. This is how they eat their burger."

    No, he;s definitely not "joking us", nonetheless fried egg, canned beetroot and Aussie cheese ? Yes please.

    Beetroot, a variety of the plant Beta vulgaris, is eaten all around the world — but Australians have a special fondness for it. English migrants with a fondness for pickling probably introduced the vegetable here, and early on it was typically "boiled and served cold". So how'd it become the key ingredient in a classic Aussie hamburger? We were putting beetroot on burgers as early as the 1930s, but the practice might have taken off after the opening of the Golden Circle cannery in the 1940s which made tinned veggies cheaper and more accessible. Or, more amusingly, it might have started as a prank on US troops who came ashore for R&R around World War II — who were presumably horrified to have their burgers "stained by beetroot juice". (Australian Women's Weekly, Trove)

    Now what's more traditionally Aussie than 'pranking' the legions of wartime "oversexed, overpaid and over heres" ? And as David Wang selflessly demonstrates, they still don't get it.

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