Monday, June 05, 2017

Or why bloviating Niall is a lightweight fop and poseur ...




Usually the pond likes to keep its reptile consumption down to two serves a day. Any more poses an unseemly threat to the diet ...

As a result, the pond could easily resist the onion muncher shouting about the need to get armed military patrols out in the street forthwith ... and the Bolter demanding that all Islamics be banned from entering the country because it's a civil war ... and the Devine shouting that we must arm ourselves for war ...

Or some such thing. Truth to tell, Abbottphobia, Bolterphobia, a splash of Devine vitirole, and the like, if they get out of hand, are a danger to mental health.

Too many carbs on steroids in the day, and the next thing you know,  if the onion muncher and the Bolter and the Devine have their way, the country will indeed become a radicalised hotbed of anger, fear and loathing ...

Now the pond will agree there's too much tolerance of extremism ... but is it possible to send the Bolter back to Amsterdam, the onion muncher back to Britain, the Devine off to New Zealand, and News Corp back to its owner in the United States?

Sure it would quieten things down a lot, but then what would the pond do for reptile watching?

It's probably a needless fear, and anyway this day the pond felt like carbing up, as if getting ready for a marathon...

You see, the opportunity came along to examine yet again what a pompous prat Niall Ferguson is, and it was irresistible ... all the more so because earlier in the day the Oreo had been screeching about the bureaucratic elite of a sclerotic world order led by careerists.

Is it possible for the impossibly self-regarding Ferguson to match up to the Oreo job description?

Why does the pond ask, why did it doubt? 

Have a gander at the goose talking about epiphanies ... while in Madrid, don't ya know, attending an inauguration of architects ...




You see, as Ferguson cruised around in his Tesla, his absolute certainty that the future will need wankers and twats of his kind hit the pond like an egg in the face ...

Next thing you know, the mesmerised wanker will be tolerantly explaining how risk management is the best way to affect cautious climate denialism, while taking due and proper steps to protect future generations ...



Well just for the record, the pond doesn't use Uber or Deliveroo or all the rest of the rackets designed to reduce wages to zilch, a noble enterprise conducted by American companies in particular ...

Funnily enough, the self-regarding ponce's taste for Uber struck a rich note of comedy for the pond, given the way the wanker went on to talk about sacrifice.

And funnily enough, when you're a consummate wanker, you don't have to worry about the conflicting thoughts embodied in the notions that global warming is happening, but there's no need to worry about rising sea levels ...while at the same time,  making bold predictions about how emissions will continue to fall, thanks to the country, states and cities pursuing ... fracking ...because fracking always turns out so well, and is such a guaranteed way to sort out the future ...

It's the same sort of disconnect that sees wankers berate lefties and greenies and Merkel for indulging in anti-Trump grandstanding ...



And there, long after its time as a meme has gone, the goose serves up another egg, the stale, hydrogen sulphide laden egg of covfefe ... because he wants to rub people's noses in Trump, while imagining that somehow his Uber will do a polite detour around the Donald, without any consequences ...



The toff's money is on Tesla? And the Donald doesn't need virtue-signalling because toffs should be squired around egg-free in Madrid while contemplating their 'I'm alright Jack, tough luck chauffeur' future?

Let's hope then that the self-satisfied, self-regarding, ever so complacent toffs get a little bit sharper about their impact on the world, as in Wired here ... let's hope sales pick up ...let's hope that the smugness doesn't completely obscure certain realities ... though the pond does understand and appreciate that public transport would be unseemly and impossible for an Uber-chauffeured wanker ...

But the piece did fulfil an essential pond requirement, of being both off-putting and completely confusing. Sometimes it's necessary to indulge in a little dessert, even if the accompanying nausea means it might be avoided for the next session at the reptile trough.

This is what passes for analysis in The Sunday Times. This is what the paywall is designed to protect from prying eyes?

No wonder the pond takes delight in fairy stories ...




1 comment:

  1. Thank you for adding just a touch of evening delight to our day, DP. It's so long since we've had a smirk or two of Mr Hirsi Ali's chummy vainglory to lighten up our dark nights.

    And good to see that he's just as profoundly vacuous as ever.

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