(Above: Indeed. More New Yorker cartoons from this issue here).
Luke 13:3 - "I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish".
Abbott 1:1 - "We are giving the Labor Party a chance to repent of its massive breach of faith with the Australian people ..." (and lots more repentance here)
Ye verily and so it came to pass, and it was good, and the pond called on all to repent, godless sinners that you are, repent for the hour is at hand, the end is nigh ...
No, not in the matter of a price on carbon, which was at one time supported by John Howard, Tony Abbott, Malcolm Turnbull, the Labor party and the rest of the herd that trotted off to the polls in 2007 .... only for Abbott to be spoken to by god, and invited to indulge in rampant negativity ...
No, it's the rorters who will be exposed and punished, and made to say at least ten Hail Marys ...
By golly, this modern political language, circa Moses, is quite compelling stuff.
Repent, faith? Only a clunky Abbott could come up with it, and not apparently have his tongue stuffed firmly in his clerical cheek ...
Funnily enough, it's the Fairfaxians who have embraced the notion of repentance and cleansing, and Abbott who absolutely refuses to repent, or admonish, because to admonish would be to admit he himself should be sacked:
Who could argue? Who knows when a politician might score a gig on Kitchen Cabinet?
Just the thing.
In contrast the reptiles at the lizard Oz stayed solid.
Forget the personal rorts, it was all about reining in spending because the Australian people had elected a most abstemious government:
Rein in spending! Cut back on everything except rental properties and cook books ...
All the Murdoch rags did their very best to keep the matter of political expenses off the front page, a distinct contrast to their behaviour in the past three years when it came to such matters as Gillard's alleged criminal behaviour, and Slipper's allegedly corrupt slippery carry-ons.
Will you see a ranting, righteous, sanctimonious assault by Janet "Dame Slap" Albrechtsen on the dubious behaviour of WA rep Don Randall of the kind she doled out yesterday to Slipper?
Pointing out that Randall happily, and remarkably, had official electoral business in Cairns at the no doubt entirely coincidental moment he took possession of a house in Cairns, a property investment subsequently rented out. Especially since she was so keen to nail dissembling of any kind on the Slipper matter only yesterday ...
In your dreams.
And there were other matters detailed in PM won't act on doubtful claims along with this note:
Fairfax Media asked the Prime Minister's office if Mr Abbott would investigate Mr Randall or stand him down over the allegations, but a spokesman said his position was unchanged. . Mr Abbott has said there are no systematic problems with the entitlements system and changing the rules would not solve the problems.
True to form, the Daily Terror went with a front page splash about Michael Williamson's wife making off with over a million in superannuation, but then Fairfax was entitled to be over Williamson, having broken the story in the first place.
But no matter how much the hagiographers, the knob-polishers and the sycophants go about their business, there's no way they can stop this sort of stuff from being water cooler chatter, with - spoiler alert - a completely unscientific Fairfax poll running 94% to 6% against Randall and calling for his sacking from his minor parliamentary duties ... as a member of the parliamentary committee that oversees MPs' privileges and interests ...
Well the pond has always been in favour of appointing poachers as gamekeepers, and by golly, what a team of poachers the Liberal party makes ... and they do irony as well ...
Meanwhile, Nicola Roxon has set off a storm in a teacup, and by chance the pond was reading what she had to say on The Drum just as her speech was breaking. The Drum had briefly managed an exclusive on the full text before everybody else stole it.
What to say? Well for a moment it took the heat off Randall, and therefore Abbott and evoked memories of the navel- and anus-gazing for which the Labor party is justly celebrated, but at the same time Roxon finally said what many people knew in private about the reign of the Ruddster.
If you think she was exaggerating, think again, and talk to someone who was there in the dark days.
And she's right to call for Rudd's resignation. While Gillard had the good grace to go off to another life, Rudd continues to hang around like a bad smell, because that's all he knows how to do ...
Rudd is now doing a fair impersonation of the elusive ghost in Hamlet, but can he resist strutting the stage again? Unfortunately Bill Shorten has some of the same characteristics - short temper, sharp rude tongue, and a narcissist self-regard - so let's hope Roxon's message struck home to him ...
As for all those members of the commentariat who routinely predicted that the Ruddster would flee from Australia to run the UN and arrange for the black helicopters needed to install a world government, how silly and stupid they must feel today.
Oh sorry, they still work as reptiles for the lizard Oz, and still don't have a clue, unless, like Christopher Pearson, they've departed this world ...
Finally, readers will be impressed by this important looking note from News Corp:
What, you didn't think that Corporations had personal signatures?
So little you know. News Corp also specialises in cabbage and sealing wax ...
So is it a personal apology for all the shockingly biased, hopeless, perverted reporting, and wretched, jaundiced, prejudiced commentariat that have filled its rags with tripe these past few years?
You know, sealed with a personal touch, an intimate flourish, a touchingly genuine signature?
Nope, it turns out:
Made aware?
Yep, the poor things couldn't bear to admit that it was Fairfax that had made them aware:
Of course the pond felt righteous about refusing absolutely to provide any personal details to News Corp, no matter that there was no evidence the vulnerability had been exploited by hackers, Anonymous or even Santa Claus.
Which is just as well, because look at the data you have to surrender - your household income, your industry, your children, your grocer, your mobile phone, your year of birth, your email address ...
It's just another pathetic form of data mining by a mob who didn't even follow the first principal, which is to keep the data secure ...
All that just to get access to "lite" tales of right wing prejudice and bile, when you can just read about the crazies in the Republican party on a daily basis for free?
Tell 'em they're dreaming ...
(Below: time for a little Dilbert on the art of data mining)
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