Tuesday, November 21, 2017

In which the pond takes a moment out of usual reptile business to discover the best Malcontent blogger down under ...


As all the reptiles fall for the Republican three card trick, the oldest form of GOP knavery and distraction delivered down under, the pond would like to pause for a moment, and point out the best left wing blog currently available in this land of wonders.

The pond stumbled on this extreme friend of comrade Bill purely by accident, but this fervent, passionate left-wing blogger knew exactly what to say about Malware's latest sets of obvious tricks ...


Panic, fear, of course ... and that cynical rushing out of promises of tax cuts after a disastrous day at the end of a disastrous year ... panic has set in, will the asbestos lady tell him to go?

Now if the pond hadn't been deeply conservative, these are exactly the sort of rabid extremist left-wing thoughts the pond might have had infiltrating the old noggin' ...

Even the deeply conservative might cultivate extreme fear and loathing of Malware each day they attempt to use his NBN ...

Truth to tell, this left-winger was too extreme for the pond, too repetitious, far too obsessed, much too malcontented about Malware even for the pond ...


This very morning this story turned up on their ABC's breakfast show, as a trio of morning distractors discussed this fervently left-wing blogger's story. 

One wretch - some junior ministerial lickspittle lackey - tried to dismiss it as nonsensical, but naturally their ABC seized on the story and used it to mock the Liberals ...

Every little angle, every little trick to pour scorn on Malware must leave Comrade Bill swimming in this blogger's wake, gasping in awe and astonishment at his resolute trashing of Malware ... as when the Napoleonic delusions of the man were recently skewered ...


It turns out this dummy is so dumb that even a hick from the deep north has better smarts. Is it any wonder his authority has collapsed?


It will be remembered that assorted Labor politicians tried to nail Malware about that decision to cancel - comrade Bill said Malware was frightened of his party, frightened of the electorate, frightened of the parliament - others compared him to authoritarian tyrants - but surely these are mere pinpricks up against the image of a hot air balloon collapsing and losing all authority ...

This deeply left-wing blogger is attuned to every Labor tactic, and willing to ask the most pertinent questions as he tries to stir trouble within the Liberal party ranks ...


It goes without saying that this leftie - thoughts of Chairman Mao or Uncle Joe often leap to mind - celebrates every chance of a Liberal defeat, though at times he does sometimes show a little sympathy for the soft Liberal underbelly of pathetic wets like the poodle ...


Of course Albo is right ... or so this devious Labor cheerleader blogger would argue at every turn.

The pond can't go through all the recent postings at this dangerously subversive blog, but the tendency to the apocalyptic is remarkable ...


Every day is a clarion call for Malware to go, and for the Liberals to collapse into themselves like colliding distant stars ...

Now the pond might have got this all wrong ...

It seems there are some that can't stand this blogger, and feel threatened by him - it's true he's as rabid and as dangerous as a wild dog loose in the streets - and they might even imagine that they're trapped in a remake of the remake of Blade Runner ...


Be that as it may, however much this extreme left-wing blogger consorts with pedophiles, however much he looks like a street screen in a fog-drenched movie about killer cyber 'bots, the pond wondered how it was possible for the likes of Pope to match this rhetorical Malware hater and his deeply rooted Malcontent ...

Well credit where credit is due, the Pope always does his best, and his comparison of Malware today to a hermit crab almost takes the high ground back from the best left-wing blogger in the business, with more exemplary papal postings, as always, available here ...


Oh and the refusal to name the blogger is deliberate. The pond wouldn't want to encourage him, because he has the very same narcissistic streak as the Donald and Malware ... and too much attention goes to his head like an aphrodisiac ...

The deeply serious question the pond must now ask is this ... is this blogger the poodle working under deep cover?



Monday, November 20, 2017

In which the pond swallows another Monday Oreo whole, and with barely a blink ...


Reluctantly the pond had to mark down the Major this day, partly because of repetition - how stupid of a rampantly biased man always to rabbit on about bias - and partly because the rabbiting produces a deep sense of tedium and ennui ...


The pond will say just one thing about the ABC's recent changes.

Back in the day, there was an understanding that stories prepared for radio had a different style and approach than stories designed for television. The difference might be summarised as that between the use of sound effects and music on the Goon Show, and the literalism that images produce. Some images might convey a hundred words, or on a good day, a thousand, while sounds allowed the mind to travel in another way ...

Each involved separate skills and disciplines, each in their own way were unique artforms, and now everything is mashed together as content, and pumped down into ever smaller lumps so that the wretched muck might emerge in digestible form on a small screen as zombies wander the streets gazing into it, while bumping into each other and passing cars ...

Hipsters yearn for beards and tatts and vinyl and even - long absent lord help us - Phillips cassettes, but each passing day of Deliveroo and Uber, they deliver themselves into digital penury and job lot slavery and politicians are only too pleased to press-gang them into similar forms of servitude as a way of scamming unemployment figures ...

Dearie me, did the Major produce that hoppy toad?

Well with that grumble out of the way, it's on with the Oreo blathering on in her inimitable way about western civilisation ...


James Paterson is a classical liberal? The IPA is full of classical liberals?

We can talk of elitist mobs while fat cats sit in a think tank living the life of Riley thanks to anonymous donors?

We shouldn't dare mention that bigotry and homophobia fits many religions like a glove, and that not coincidentally Islam hails Christ as a prophet and missionaries helped blight the lives and thoughts of generations of indigenous people with blather about paradise in the sweet bye and bye, and that fundamentalist Xians and Islamics are at one on the matter of teh gayz?

Is it any wonder that the pond is such a huge fan of the Oreo?

And the pond shares the Oreo's deep distress ...


Eek, the UN?! The black helicopters have landed in the Liberal party and this is all by way of a prelude to introduce world government by Xmas, and not as previously thought, by way of climate science, but by adopting UN wording ... and now it all appears doomed?

The pond would like to reassure the Oreo that western civilisation is safe, and so is Judeo-Christian and British civilisation, with the Oreo having invaded that scepter'd isle ...


This royal throne of kings, this scepter'd isle, 
This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars, 
This other Eden, demi-paradise 
This fortress built by Nature for herself 
Against infection and the hand of war, 
This happy breed of men, this little world, 
This precious stone set in the silver sea,.. 
This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England.

Oh the pond speaks fluent western civilisation and flung that in because the Oreo is in such a funk about the state of the world and the state of Britain and heck, just about the state of everything, that the pond thought she needed some comforting ...

Let's face it, none of its got anything to do with barking mad fundamentalists and their bigoted homophobia and other sexual quirks of the Roy Moore kind - in the end it's all due to those wretched gays ...



Damn you queer radicals, it's all your fault, why can't people be politically incorrect and bigoted and homophobic, and decently barking mad like the Oreo and like they could be in the good old days? 

Is it now wrong for the barking mad to mention that the Oreo is barking mad? Is even that form of political incorrectness going to be ruled out of order? Where will it all end? Will we be stopped from shouting in caps? Will Islamics be no longer allowed to call for jihad? What about white nationalists yearning for Adolf? How on earth will we manage to crank up a third world war with civilised politeness and tolerance and accepting each other is all the go?

And so to more fine flowerings of western civilisation ...




In which the pond lets off a double-barrelled blast of onion muncher and Moorice ...


Of course the pond had to clear the decks. How could an Oreo or an Order of Lenin hunter of the Major Mitchell kind compete with the two heaviest hitters in the pond pantheon of pleasures?

And it goes without saying that as soon as any huckster or hustler starts spruiking a golden age, he's talking classic racism of the ancient Greek kind ...

The term Golden Age comes from Greek mythology, particularly the Works and Days of Hesiod, and is part of the description of temporal decline of the state of peoples through five Ages, Gold being the first and the one during which the Golden Race of humanity (Greek: χρύσεον γένος chrýseon génos) lived. Those living in the first Age were ruled by onion lovers, after the finish of the first age was the Silver, then the Bronze, after this the Heroic age, with the fifth and current age being made of iron and filled with onion haters ... (well that's what imaginative Greg Hunters would find here).

Yes, there'll be pie in the sky in the sweet bye and bye, and we'll all live in a paradise, and in the meantime, there's always the deep thoughts of the onion muncher to chew on ...


Rhodes eh? Was there a course in what Rhodes really stood for?


That full story at the Beeb here, and that link to the Guardian obituary of 2002 here, where a number of wretched matters are discussed and it ends this way...

...It may be left to the future historian who shall have access to the documents to determine his share in the guilt of the Raid. Certain it is that he vacillated long in sore perplexity, and it may be that his message to Jameson had been misunderstood by that unlucky strategist. But the fact remains that when, in November 1895, the British Government gave control of the southern portion of Bechuanaland to Cape Colony and the northern to the Chartered Company - a sinister act, giving colour to many imputations - the Johannesburg agitation boiled up afresh, and Rhodes gave Jameson his orders to collect the Company's troops and prepare for an expedition with Maxim guns. From that unscrupulous beginning there was an unbroken sequence of evil.

Indeed, and it can be argued that both apartheid and the likes of the dictator Mugabe are the children of Rhodes, with all the consequent unhappiness produced ... and that if the onion muncher is the best a Rhodes Scholarship can produce, what an unhappy outcome for Rhodes and scholars ... second rate minds earning weak punch-drunk degrees abroad while imagining they were British to the bootstraps ...

In much the same way as the onion muncher was determined to create unhappiness in gay lives, Rhodes was a barking mad megalomaniac determined to produce unhappiness throughout the world ...

At his death he was considered one of the wealthiest men in the world. In his first will, written in 1877 before he had accumulated his wealth, Rhodes wanted to create a secret society that would bring the whole world under British rule.[9][page needed] The exact wording from this will is: To and for the establishment, promotion and development of a Secret Society, the true aim and object whereof shall be for the extension of British rule throughout the world, the perfecting of a system of emigration from the United Kingdom, and of colonisation by British subjects of all lands where the means of livelihood are attainable by energy, labour and enterprise, and especially the occupation by British settlers of the entire Continent of Africa, the Holy Land, the Valley of the Euphrates, the Islands of Cyprus and Candia, the whole of South America, the Islands of the Pacific not heretofore possessed by Great Britain, the whole of the Malay Archipelago, the seaboard of China and Japan, the ultimate recovery of the United States of America as an integral part of the British Empire, the inauguration of a system of Colonial representation in the Imperial Parliament which may tend to weld together the disjointed members of the Empire and, finally, the foundation of so great a Power as to render wars impossible, and promote the best interests of humanity. (Greg Hunt the details here)

Never mind, back to the onion muncher for a final gobbet and the stock-in-trade blather about the glories of western civilisation and the British, and the wonder is, if he loves the Poms so much, he doesn't go and live there and dwell amongst them, and thereby save us all much misery and nattering negativity ...



The golden age of the onion muncher? It's not before us, and the pond hopes fervently that it is behind us, though it's never wise to second-guess ruffians ...

Raise the tone of our civic conversation? Is that what saying "no" like a broken clock chiming all day long is supposed to do?



Links as in the cartoon, because now it's time to turn to Moorice, and once again, it seems that Moorice is determined to deprive the pond and the world of his astonishing insights into climate science ...


Speaking of broken clocks, as one often does in the company of the onion muncher and Moorice, is it possible that the pond might find itself in the rare position of agreeing with this broken clock at least once this day?



The most shameful political episode since federation?

So much for the dismissal. So much for the 1932 constitutional crisis in NSW ...

In fact in the usual wiki way Greg Hunters might find delight in a list of Political controversies in Australia, and use them to assess Moorice's tendency to hysterical exaggeration and myopic unawareness of the political history of the country, up there with his ability as a climate scientist ...

Even on his own side, has he so little time for Petrov and the DLP?



Never mind, there's more Moir here, and as for other matters, it's clear that the pond can agree with the broken clock that the Constitution makes for more plain reading than attempting to fill out a Centrelink document online, and the politicians and their parties have only themselves to blame, and now it's time for a final Moorice gobbet ...

Go on Moorice, sic him, sic that wretched Malware and his presumptuous, arrogant and foolhardy instructions to the High Court on what they should find ...



Phew, thank the long absent lord duty has been done, and now it's time for weddings, parties or anything really, with Mark Knight twittering here and showing how difficult it is in Northcote with all those green lawns ...(though in time that reference will seem like nothing but a midsummer's dream)



Sunday, November 19, 2017

In which the pond sprays on some Devine good grace and good faith, as promised ...


Remember that Devine talk of good grace?

It seems like so long ago, an eternity ... and luckily this Sunday Miranda the Devine provided a chance to see how the accepting with good grace was going (sadly Akker Dakker had the good grace to disappear, presumably on a holyday to lick his homophobic wounds) ...

First the pond had to get past another bit of Devine malice ...


Try telling that to the Donald ...

And so to the good grace, as the pond promised ...



That bit of street art immediately sent the right signal to the pond ... the Devine's good grace was going to be malice and vandalism in action ...


Now there's any number of things to note here, including the way that the 18C-loving Murdochians never actually show the full work in all its glory ...


And it's interesting that it would seem that Scott Marsh had actually secured the permission of the Botany View Hotel to put up his art, unlike the vandals who came along and vandalised it ... and who thereby helped spread the story further, as in this Fairfaxian report ...

"They have threatened staff and patrons," he wrote. "[They] are here to cover up a 'hateful' painting while spreading hate and fear in the process. Try and get that logic...."

...Hundreds have since left poor reviews on the pub's Facebook page, which has become a battleground, with many supporters of the pub commenting on, and disputing, one-star reviews. White and beige paint was thrown over Cardinal Pell's face on Wednesday. It is not known who defaced the mural. "It is what it is," Marsh said. "I try not to get too upset about those things." However, he said he was disappointed he didn't get a chance to "get a nice photo in the morning light".

Marsh has shown good grace at the fate of his artwork:

Despite the backlash, Marsh said most of the feedback he had received had been positive. "The response has been 98 per cent positive; the only negative response has been from a few Christian groups," he said. Following the first incident of vandalism, Marsh said he planned to leave the defaced mural as it was. "I think it's just a chapter in the life of the mural," he said. "When you're making public art, the reaction is important, the reaction is needed."

But why wouldn't he show good grace. Anyone wanting a copy of his street art of the onion muncher will need a couple of hundred bucks to get a limited edition print run of the epic portrait:


And now back to vitriolic Devine, determined to show a complete and utter lack of grace ...



Accept the result with good grace and in good faith? 

Attacking street art in Newtown and coming in and assaulting decent gods-fearing secularist and atheist folk with talk of invisible friends and prayers to a virgin teenager knocked up by the Lord? (well so they think in Alabama). What next? Insist that we all eat human flesh and swill down human blood on a Sunday?

Why they couldn't even find a shot of Magda Z with her eyes open, instead running an image with her in squinty Babe mode ...



Ah fuck, there it goes, the hysteria, the fear-mongering and the deeply fundamentalist bigoted Catholic homophobia, and Australia torn apart in ways we can't even imagine ...

If you can't imagine it, shut the good faith and good grace fuck up about it ... but no, instead we must be Devined in the usual way with the usual fragrance ...




Now the pond won't join that dreadful woman Laura Tingle leading the sniggering on The Insiders about the Devine hailing ScoMo's revival of his leadership credentials - that cat is so dead we must be on to its nineteenth life. Oh okay, it's another story in the Terror - google it if you must - but the real shock there is the sight of the Devine purporting to be a journalist filing a story, when it's just the culture wars by another name.

Never mind, there's still more of Devine the columnist, and you don't even get a decent set of steak knives.

You see, once the Devine gets on a roll, her lack of good grace, lack of good faith, knows no bounds ...



Now there were many comments beneath the Devine piece, with only a few trying to spark a rational discussion of the old fear-mongering Devine routine abut florists and bakers ...


How weird has it been getting of late? 

Why even gorgeous George - 'everyone has the right to be a bigot' - Brandis showed signs of getting testy, a little impatient, with the ramblings of the likes of the Devine ...


(paywall protected, text can be googled)

So the Christian bus driver said you look gay, so don't expect any service here, and the atheist bus driver said no true believers here, and the Jewish bus driver said Islamics can only ride in the luggage compartment ... and why did Barry Cassidy insist that the pond brood about bus drivers? What about mall owners banning gays from malls to provide a little protection for long suffering Xian shoppers wanting a Merry Xmas?

Never mind, the Devine show good grace and good faith in this matter? 

Of course not she can see years and years of shrieking and howling columns stretching out before her, complaining and moaning, and taking the black paint to other people's joys and desires ...

Why, if adultery is now to be the new standard, she can spend endless weeks shrieking about the way any number of Xians fuck like rabbits without respecting conventional Xian notions of marriage ... and end up in the divorce courts ...

And now, since the matter of adultery was raised at the start of the show, can the pond finish with a few cartoons about that peculiar Xian notion, as ripe with hypocrisy as the smell of a hundred year old egg ...







Oh and here's one for the gays ...



In which petulant Peta offers Malware the chance to do some cat-herding ...


The lizards of Oz always produce wondrous, bizarre sights but this sad reflection reflecting on sad reflections produced so many reflections that the pond was blinded by the light ... cut loose like a deuce, another runner in the night, blinded by the light, mama always told the pond not to look into the sights of the rambling spewman sun, ooh but mama that's where the fun is ...

Moving right along - what, you thought the pond would read rambling doucheman? This pond offers very low standards but it has some - it was time to revert to the Sunday Terror this day and read the thoughts of petulant Peta ...

The aim of this game is to see how she can cause Malware maximum grief, while appearing modest, reasonable, even conciliatory,  and by chance it was the subsidiary column, tucked away out of sight by the Terrorists, that offered the best hope for a classically devious Peta sighting ...



In the last few days, the standard reptile line has always been to conjure up the ghost of Eddie, but petulant Peta is just as interested in giving Malware a big fright ...


There's the obligatory Eddie reference, but then comes a kind of character reference for the wannabe usurper, along with a smiling photo that would never be seen in the lizard Oz ...

Remember, this is how the reptiles like to do it ...


Must the pond always be reminding the Terrorists of the correct form, the gravitas required? 

Please, absolutely no smiling ... remember, sinistra is all the go ...


By golly, she's a capable and appealing person done down by associating with Labor men, and Bennelong lost and Malware defeated by a seismic vote on the floor? 

That's nicely gloomy, how the onion muncher must have relished his Sunday morning snack, and then the pond went off to look at the main course for the day ...


The trick here isn't to join the rabid ranks of the Devine, or even petulant Peta's old homophobic onion-munching boss, but to sound perfectly reasonable as she outlines a set of demands ...


Note the deft jab at the very disagreeable and vocal Malware, caught out on a contradiction, and then the use of Malware's rhetoric to deliver another jab, and then there are those petulant demands to consider ...


Now the chance of Malware herding together his cats to deliver a bill on religious freedom is as remote as the pond's chance of scoring a fast, reliable NBN service ...

The previous attempt by Jimbo was a doozy, and proved that while you could prise the boy out of the wacky, zany IPA, you couldn't prise the wacky, zany ways of the IPA out of the boy ...

Petulant Peta proceeds to play the role of another cat, rabbiting on about the suffering of 'no' voters ...


It is of course a classic set-up, a jab ensuring that we will all note in the new year how Malware failed to keep his promise to protect religious freedom ...

Note that petulant Peta doesn't actually go into the tricky business of explaining how this should be done ...instead she rules out religious freedom protections being in the Marriage Act - despite there being provisions for religious freedom protections in the proposed Marriage Act - and she doesn't agree with the cake and florist arguments because that's entrenching discrimination ...

As indeed it would, as everyone pointed out when IPA loving Jimbo led with his legal chin, including in this AFR story currently outside the paywall ...


These cats aren't for herding, and certainly not in the time remaining before Xmas. They can't organise themselves, as they shift from banging on about 18C to banging on about ways to maintain assorted forms of discrimination ...

All the onion muncher knows is that it would be a chance to recover some lost face by banging on about the hapless voters in the bigoted minority ...

And so petulant Peta gets her revenge yet again by offering Malware the Sisyphean task of herding cats, and sorting out how to best maintain discrimination against the gays, a reminder that Greek history sometimes offers easier tasks, as a modern Donogenes might discover as he wandered towards Diogenes ...